Ugly (Poem 21 of 30: 2016)

I don’t normally preface my posts but I think it is warranted here:
This piece is called Ugly. It is about the unpleasant topic of rape (and sexual assault in general). It certainly doesn’t cover every aspect of the issue. It is a compilation of many conversations/experiences from loved ones, friends, acquaintances; I am only saying this to prepare people who might stumble in here and start reading. I don’t want to set off any awfulness. This is a piece about rape, from a personal perspective and a human one. Don’t read on if this is a topic you can not handle (which is perfectly alright). If this is something you or someone you love has been hurt by, my heart really goes out to you (RAINN Hotline*: 800.656.HOPE)


So, rape really fucking sucks
There’s no better way to say it
And it is a topic that doesn’t deserve my carefully tended lexical garden
This is a topic best discussed bluntly
It’s an evil, awful, fucked thing to do to another human being
I’ve had a lot of individuals come through my life
Who have been sexually assaulted
Whether it was overtly rape
Or molestation or some other fucked thing
Some talk about it, others don’t
For some it was out in the world at random
For some it was a relative or some close
For some it was in prison
Or at church
A bar
A bathroom
Some woke up bloody and unsure
Others were horrifyingly awake for ever single encounter
It’s always completely gut-wrenching and heartbreaking to hear

It’s not something one wants to relive in conversation
Many never speak a word about it
They bury it someplace dark
And unburden it privately into pillows and confidants
Or they never trust a soul, let alone the air, with their private nightmare
Women tend to talk about their experiences more frequently
But not always
I’ve only known a few men who were impacted
And willing to talk about it at all
One of the sad flipped-side-coin issues for them being
Even harsher social stigmas and shame
And a surprising lack of outreach programs for people in their position
Rape is often swept under the rug
Both for women and men
It’s an incredibly painful and disgustingly divisive issue

There is a current of objectification running
Just under our collective surface and it is dark
People who get raped in jail are met with shit like:
They shouldn’t have done x-y-z

I’m always left incensed
Asking why a non-violent offender deserves
Irreparable physical and psychological harm
Many non-violents having done nothing ethically wrong
Simply caught up in someone else’s money making scheme
Or puritanical traditionalism puppeteered by a money making scheme
Johnny-stays-in-the-box doesn’t equate privatized prisons
With the fact that we incarcerate more people in the US than any other country
Personally, I don’t think people battling addiction and mental illness deserve
To be violated so prolifically that they leave in a diaper with Hepatitis
That doesn’t seem even remotely like justice to me
That seems a cruel violation of a human being’s basic right to safety
The average self-titled law abider is just more willing to marginalize
Those they perceive as beneath them
The ones on the wrong side of the law line especially
And it isn’t just in prison that this false logic is applied:
They wouldn’t have been raped if they hadn’t been there
Hadn’t gone to that part of town
If they hadn’t gotten so drunk
If they hadn’t been out late
Hadn’t dressed so scantily
The list of reasons why an assault was okay
Or at least dismissible
Just goes on and on

Everyone has the right to go where they please
There shouldn’t be some invisible asterisk on certain streets
No cloistering after sundown
If I want to walk down the street naked it shouldn’t matter
I’m not asking for it unless I’m LITERALLY ASKING FOR IT
With my mouth-words in plain, mutually understood language
The Law of Consenting Adults seems damned simple to follow
Other peoples genitals are not open season
Because you are a fucking walking sex-stain and a bigot
It’s a really tangled mess of a topic, I know
But this victim blaming, slut shaming, and survivors guilt
It needs to stop
Our species mates deserve more than this
We are all capable of being better than this

And one more point about this ugly topic
To the fucking subhuman scum suckers who cry rape
Fuck you
It is so incredibly hard to have something like this happen to you
It can be completely life and self shattering
Some people never really recover
Their sense of safety gone forever
Coming forward is that much harder
Because you crocodilian manipulative shit-rags
Make getting their assault taken seriously
Unfathomably more difficult

And the poor sucker you accuse
Has their life
Their reputation
That’s just some twisted, pathological fuckery to pull
My own sister is that type of loose excrement
It’s a big part of why I do not take her phone calls
Rapists and people who cry rape
They ruin lives
When it’s their life that should be ruined

Let’s be the part in human history that let’s go of the stigma
That holds monsters accountable
And meets pain with compassion
Rather than callousness
That fixes this system
Rather than ignore
Our brothers’ and sisters’ suffering

*The Rape, Abuse and Incest Hotline is confidential and can help: 800.656.HOPE
They offer help locating long-term support, talking through things, finding doctors who are trained to handle you crisis, local laws, etc. There is help and support out there. I’m so sorry.


About Moly

Average, boring, self-involved human. Twitter: @CultOfCocktails Facebook:
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